Year: 2011

Making the coming year a success

Posted by: Deborah Talalay Posted on: 20/12/2011 , , ,

So, how do you expect the coming year to turn out?
Are you expecting your clients to tighten their belts and to no longer need you?
If so – what are you planning to do about it?

If you are self employed – remember that you are providing goods or a service which adds value to your clients’ lives. Even though you may consider that what you do is frivolous and probably dispensable, you might be astonished to discover that especially in times of economic depression, these are the things that keep your clients spirits up, and to them your service or product is not a luxury but a necessity.

It’s easy to listen to the news and to be affected by the terrible economic predictions. It’s easy to assume that your business will be affected and that people will not have the money for your services. It is very easy to feel anxious and discouraged, and that will be the message that you give your clients.

But your clients aren’t there to cheer you up, and if they sense your discouragement many of them will look elsewhere – because the last thing they need right now is to catch your depression.

If you keep yourself positive, stay cheerful and make it your business to cheer them up they will feel better for being around you. What everyone loves is to hear about success and to be associated with success. It attracts like a magnet.

When someone presents themselves as being completely confident that they can give you what you need and want – then even though it might be expensive for you – you start to think of ways of finding that money.

So how do we go about being that confident in ourselves and convincing others that they need our services and products?
First – don’t buy into the depression.
Don’t think for your clients – don’t turn them away with your belief that you know how they’re thinking and that they are about to abandon you.
Allow them to want you.

If you provide a service, think how you might help clients to feel better during these difficult times.
What can you add to the service you provide?
Just offering a cup of tea adds value and gives the client a feeling of being looked after and cared for.
Do you need to be more flexible in your hours?
Do you need to lay on transport so people can reach you easily?

There are all sorts of ways that take the difficulties out of people using your services.

If you are selling a product
Do you need to offer a better money back guarantee to make it safer for someone to make the decision to buy?
Do you need to research and define your niche market and then go all out to explain to them why they need what you can provide?

Success so often depends on sitting down and taking the time to think about where your real market is – and then devising a strategy to target that market.

Then take a good hard look at yourself.
Are you presenting yourself in a way that will attract people to you?
How is your posture – it speaks volumes!!!!!!!!!
Are you positive about yourself?
Remember it is quite difficult to fake it. If you feel that you aren’t up to scratch – others will understand that even though you might not say a word. It will be apparent in your body language.

Here are a few ideas
• Take the time to improve on your skills. This will give you fresh energy and motivation.
• Perhaps think of presenting yourself differently – change your hairstyle or dress in different colours and styles. This will wake people up to you – so you’re no longer just part of the landscape.
• Make an honest evaluation of your state of mind – your expectations and your fears – then do something about it.
The best investment you can make is in yourself.
If you have just been getting by – make an effort to improve yourself. If you are anxious or fearful, get someone to help you understand why and to help you change it.
The time and effort you invest in yourself will make you into the person who is confident and able to attract business and success.
Theta Healing has helped many people make a success of themselves and their businesses
If you would like to learn more about Theta Healing and how it can help you
Call me on: 07979538378
Email me at: debbie.talalay@gmail.com
Or go to my website to find out how Theta Healing and Homeopathy could help you. www.18.135.123.1

How to overcome fears about your financial future and expect and achieve success in today’s economic climate

Posted by: Deborah Talalay Posted on: 07/12/2011

I’ve noticed an undercurrent of fear among clients who are wondering whether their business and jobs will survive the coming months. Despite the doom and gloom in the press I believe that it is possible to thrive in this economy and know that the surge in negativity can be overcome by a change in perception

The negativity surrounding the economy is high, and the expectation that we can pull ourselves out of trouble in the near future becomes lower with every fresh statement from the treasury and the economists. The general atmosphere of fear and despair in the air is almost tangible – it doesn’t have to be this way.

Because the constant stream of bad news has made us fearful and depressed – we are no longer able to envision growth, success and a good outcome. The more we expect the ceiling to come crashing in – the more we modify our behaviour and strategy to ensure that it does.
When we expect an event to happen – it often does, precisely because we have invited it on an energy level.

Our reality is the outcome of our expectations.

I have had several clients say they were expecting a thin time of it. That they were expecting that their regulars would choose to go to the cheapest rival and that no-one would really want their particular skill right now. Other clients who work on a contract basis have been very fearful that contracts would not be renewed and that if nothing happened soon they would not pick up further work till after the New Year. There has been a strong fear that employers would not wish to pay the asking price for their services and that they would have to make substantial discounts to even stay in the running.

Things haven’t changed that much in recent weeks. What has changed has been the perception. Yes, it is true that many people have lost their jobs and many more will continue to do so. But that is not only a reflection of the current state of the economy – but also a reflection of the loss of heart and the expectation of a massive downturn. We are witnessing a contraction in the market due to the fear of recession which results in the downturn in investment and spending. It’s like everyone has taken a back seat and will not commit to growth or expansion until they see how things are developing. And of course – so many people opting out of growth all at once results in the very contraction that has been feared and brings the economy to a standstill.

I have spent a lot of time recently talking with clients who have lost heart and who are expecting to be laid off or underemployed. I have given Theta Healing to remove the belief that
• their worst expectations are guaranteed to happen
• for the belief that they are too old and younger people will be given the contracts they were expecting
• That they are no longer needed
• That their skills were no longer relevant
• That they needed to heavily discount their fees
• That if they don’t have a contract now – there won’t be anything for months.

If a prospective job candidate believes some or all of the above, they are going to present themselves in an entirely different light to one who feels assured that he or she is the right person for the opening. The upbeat candidate will convince his interviewers that if they employ him, the company will gain such benefit from his expertise that the asking fee is really moderate and is very good value.

Several of my clients have won contracts and been given jobs that they were originally convinced they had very little hope of getting. One man told me that far from abandoning him, his clients had given him so many commissions that he had employed someone to help him.

When confident and motivated, we can attract work and success to ourselves even in times of recession, and we can inspire others to become more optimistic.

When we have the expectation of success it is far more likely that we will convince others to help and support us in achieving that.

When we have the expectation of meltdown then however hard we try to disguise it, we show our despair and fear and contribute to the general malaise.

I would like to see us all change our negative expectations into positivity and excitement.
The recession won’t stand a chance!

If you would like to learn more about Theta Healing and how it can help you
Call me on: 07979538378

Email me at: debbie.talalay@gmail.com

Or go to my website to find out how Theta Healing and Homeopathy could help you. www.18.135.123.1

The Emotional Impact of Infertility

Posted by: Deborah Talalay Posted on: 15/11/2011 , ,

The urge to procreate is incredibly strong and is hardwired into us, especially into females. So when a woman wants a child and is unable to conceive it is felt as much more than a failure to conceive. This is felt as a failure as a human being.

When you have just bought a new car you suddenly notice all the other cars of the same make on the road.
When you want a baby – all you can see is pregnant women – everyone seems to be pregnant having conceived effortlessly. If another woman’s baby is unplanned and maybe unwanted then that is a further slap in the face to the woman who is dying to have a baby and cannot. She wonders what is wrong with her – if she is being punished for some misdeed. She thinks she is unloved by God and the universe or that she’s been forgotten. She feels sidelined and abandoned.

All this has a terrible effect on the woman’s emotional health. She does not feel complete as a person – as though something vital has been withheld from or denied to her. And her mind dwells on it obsessively. Every family with small children has been blessed and she has not.

Sometimes she feels ashamed of her infertility. In some cultures this is a valid reason for men to punish and divorce their wives. Then this woman is humiliated and excluded because of her infertility.
And all the while – it could have been a problem with the man!

It is well worth while for each couple to be tested to see where exactly the problems lie. As I said in my last blog – get in touch with Foresight and take their help.
Tel: 01243 868001
Email: emailus@foresight-preconception.org.uk

Many women find that they feel just as bad when they want another child as those women without any children at all. The urge to procreate is just as strong and so then they feel guilty and ashamed because they feel that they shouldn’t be making such a fuss when they already have a child.

I have treated many women who are so desperate to become pregnant that their entire life is centred around maximising that possibility. Her partner has to have sex around the time when his wife ovulates whether he feels like it or not. He gets to feel that his only use is as a sperm machine. He feels he has failed because his wife is so unhappy and that he must be less important to her than having a baby. Pretty soon he starts to feel angry and unwanted. And when it comes to lovemaking – he can’t work up any enthusiasm because he knows that the only reason is to produce a baby.

The effect all this has on the partnership is stressful and destructive. The man feels undervalued and the woman feels not understood and inadequately cared for.

Many women find that they feel just as bad when they want another child as those women without any children at all. The urge to procreate is just as strong and so then they feel guilty and ashamed because they feel that they shouldn’t be making such a fuss when they already have a child.

The woman is on an emotional roller coaster. Every month she hopes she will get pregnant and anxiously waits to see if her period is going to come. If it is a little late she is beside herself with hope and anxiety and then when her period finally arrives she sinks into despair.

Of course all this anxiety and negativity sends chemical signals to the body which makes the prospect of conceiving even less likely. The very opposite of the hoped for conception is achieved.

Much can be done with Theta healing to calm the situation. I have treated women who have come to terms with childlessness and who no longer think that a vital part of themselves is missing. I have treated others who have managed to relax and accept whatever happens and who have finally become pregnant. When the heat is off – the relationship has a chance to heal and this sometimes produces a pregnancy.

If you would like to learn more about Theta Healing and how it can help with infertility
Call me on: 07979538378
Email me at: debbie.talalay@gmail.com
Or go to my website to find out how Theta Healing and Homeopathy could help you. www.18.135.123.1

Alternatives to IVF

Posted by: Deborah Talalay Posted on: 01/11/2011 , , , ,

For a number of years I have been a member of a wonderful organisation called Foresight – The Association  for the Promotion of Pre-Conceptual Care.  It provides a non invasive, inexpensive alternative to IVF.

 

I have reproduced an article I wrote on Foresight in 2008.

 

‘Foresight is a charity focused on pre-conceptual care and infertility.

The incidence of infertility is growing at an alarming rate.

The emotional and financial cost both to the people involved and to the health service is very high.

 

Foresight has proved to be immensely successful in its fertility programme and in producing healthy babies. The success rate for conception to the birth of a healthy infant is 78.4%.

 

People referred to Foresight have their hair analysed.

This highlights

  • levels of toxicity including drugs, alcohol and nicotine
  • parasites
  • infections
  • nutrient deficiencies and imbalances
  • allergies

All of which can cause infertility and often have repercussions for the babies eventually conceived. Depending on the results of the analysis, the couple are then referred to a therapist – usually a nutritionist or homoeopath. They are prescribed a course of supplements aimed at rectifying the problems revealed in the hair analysis.

 

Foresight aims to

  • help couples achieve good health so that it becomes possible to conceive
  • help couples to conceive without drugs and invasive procedures
  • ensure that children are not born with entirely avoidable conditions arising from nutrient deficiencies or toxicity of the parent
  • relieve the NHS in the future of the need to provide expensive operations and care for those who are currently being born with these conditions
  • encourage people to have babies who are healthy in both mind and body

 

A healthy society is the product of the individuals in that society. Helping prospective parents to regain good health provides the basis for the health of the next generation and is  reflected in the society that results.

 

This service is available at a fraction of the cost of IVF and other procedures.  I believe it to be effective and very worthwhile.

I would like to see a Foresight centre in each major city which can help couples to conceive and to attain this level of health.

 

Cost comparison of treatments

IVF – £6000                                         Foresight –  £300 – £400

Success Rate

IVF – 21.6 %                                      Foresight – 78.4%

 

When asked about the comparative costs between IVF and alternative methods – an IVF consultant was recently quoted as saying that alternative methods were exploitative. As seen by the figures shown above, this is patently untrue.’

 

I have also found that the mind can play a large part in blocking conception. Fear that the husband does not really want another child. Worry that the child will place an unwanted financial burden on the family. Worry that her life will change dramatically and that she’s not sure she can cope.

 

The anxiety of trying to conceive often acts as a block to conception. The couple – particularly the woman is so overwrought that her body produces a hostile environment for conception. Women trying to conceive used to be placed with infants – just to hold them and cuddle them.  This deceived the body and mind into a state of relaxation and fulfilment and the women frequently became pregnant as a result.

 

So it is important when aiming to conceive to keep the mind in a welcoming receptive state so that the body is given the correct signals and knows that it is the right moment to get started.

 

If you feel that your anxiety and negativity is part of the problem and is adding to the difficulties you may be having trying to conceive – Theta Healing will help you.

Please call me on – 07979538 378 to find out more.

Go to my website www.18.135.123.1. I have given an explanation on Theta Healing and how it works.

Social Status

Posted by: Deborah Talalay Posted on: 17/10/2011 , , , ,

The one thing that will strike terror in a child’s heart is to be excluded.
This takes various forms and will be experienced as

  • Not being good enough for the in crowd.
  • Not being picked till last for a team.
  • Not being invited for outings or play dates.
  • Knowing that you are only invited if the whole class is going.

Kids need to know what their social standing is and how they rank against the other kids – where they stand in the social pecking order.
This is where so much of the mean behaviour between children comes from.
A child who has led a sheltered life and comes from a home where he is the apple of his family’s eye, often has a rude awakening when he gets to school.

In order for me to be better – you have to be worse.
And just in case anyone has any doubt about me being better – I will tell everyone what’s wrong with you. And if there isn’t anything wrong with you – I’ll make it up!

You probably recognise it – hordes of kids picking on one or two others so they can prove that they are superior. It’s called bullying which I talked about earlier this month, and it comes from desperation to be top of the pile, to have top social status. Because the opposite of social status is social exclusion. And the way you know you have social status is because others are not good enough and are excluded from your circle of friends.

The reason kids want high fashion items is not because these items are so much better – but because they prove how superior that child must be. Conversely – an item from Primark or BHS will actually prove to the child and to his classmates that he has no social status and that no self respecting person should want to associate with him. So that child is ashamed of what they are wearing and fearful that it might lead to their exclusion.

I remember one boy who was in the First Eleven at his school. He was a football star and reaped the admiration and popularity that went with it. He could do no wrong with the girls and he was always included in any social gathering. Until one day he had an injury. He got over the injury but every time he played football the injured part flared. So he had to stop playing.
His place was filled by another boy, and the team went on without him. He couldn’t be part of the group and his friends started to be less friendly and to not include him in other events. But this wasn’t just about not being part of a group that shared an experience. This was about losing his social standing which had depended on him being a football star. Since he no longer had his place as a star – he could not enhance the reputation of these friends – so was no longer worth knowing. It was a very painful experience for the boy. His confidence was completely shattered for a long time, but he learned from it and chose his next friends with greater care.

A child aspiring to social status has to take care that they are never seen to be friendly with so called losers – even if they secretly quite like them. They cannot side with them or rescue them if they are being bullied. In fact – a child who is unsure of his social standing could well be the loudest and the meanest just to prove that he isn’t a loser.

This is part of the growing up process in our culture. Maybe when we see it in our children we would handle it better if we understand the insecurities which give rise to this behaviour. Maybe we could reassure them that the other kids don’t have to be inferior so that they can be amazing, and that another child being good at something does not automatically mean our child is inferior – but that everyone can be amazing in their own different way.

If you would like help in letting go of your insecurities, you may find that Theta Healing will help:
Please call me on – 07979538 378 to find out more
Go to my website www.18.135.123.1. I have given an explanation on Theta Healing and how it works.

Bullying

Posted by: Deborah Talalay Posted on: 03/10/2011 , , , , ,

It is the start of the school year and our children have gone back to school.

Some are starting in secondary school, and some have moved to a different school. This is the time when they will have to meet different and higher expectations from their teachers. It is also the time when children will have been separated from their friends and will have to make new friendships.

It is a time of increased anxiety and vulnerability for a lot of children, especially if they have been put into a class which they don’t like, or have been put in with people who have formed bonds and are unwilling to let anyone else in.

Children can be amazingly unkind to each other.  They can exclude another child for being a little different to them – if they have a different skin colour or religion, if they wear glasses, if they have a physical defect – a stammer or lisp. Sometimes a child will be excluded for no good reason at all – just to make their tormentors feel they are on top – The King – by making another look and feel inadequate and small.

These are the first steps towards bullying.

Often a person will be bullied because someone is jealous. I know people who having been confident and popular then one day found themselves sent to Coventry and have never really understood why.  The reason is usually that someone else was jealous of their popularity and decided to spread some venom to make them unpopular. The other people in the class will join in with the bully for fear of getting the same treatment, and before you know it this child or teenager will find they have been completely marginalised.

Other scenarios include tormenting someone by hitting them or hurting them when no one else is looking. If the youngster complains he’s immediately accused of being a mummy’s boy or a grass and sinks deeper into the trap. Many kids have their lunch or lunch money stolen from them.

I remember when a child I know was being bullied.  No one knew about it till halfway through the term when he started wetting the bed.

He hadn’t wanted to tell anyone about it. He was deeply hurt that his best friend had joined the bullies. This was a case of being too popular for his rival’s comfort – though the child had not even realised the other was a rival. He was told that if he submitted to physical tortures he would be allowed to join the games. He refused. So he spent every playtime entirely alone.

When his parents found out, there was some discussion about leaving it to the child to deal with, and that parents shouldn’t interfere. I couldn’t disagree with this more.

The consequences of having been bullied are appalling.

Anyone who is being tormented and bullied has had their confidence severely knocked. They are usually led to believe that it’s because of something they’ve done – or because of who they are.  That it’s all their fault. They are terrified of making it worse by going to someone in authority. Many youngsters pretend they are unwell rather than face their tormentors.  Some actually do become ill. And tragically, some take their own lives.

I have met people who hide from life – who are unable to work or form a relationship because they have been bullied in school – whose trust in their fellow humans has been completely ruined – whose lives have been ruined.

It is the same as with any form of abuse – the victim is the one who is made to feel that none of this would have happened if there had not been something terribly wrong with them.

It is crucial that any adult seeing that their child has become introverted, or wondering why their child is withdrawn should find out what is going on, and consider the possibility that their child is being bullied. The child may be quite reluctant to speak about it. Don’t let that stop you.

Tell the authorities. If they don’t take immediate and decisive action, remove the child from that school.  The consequences of leaving a youngster to fend for himself are too dreadful.

The parents of the young boy decided to tell the school their son was being bullied, and it was dealt with immediately. The entire school was drawn into a discussion on bullying. The bully was made to understand what he had done and the teachers kept a very close eye on the people involved to make sure it did not start up again.

There one or two who have been strengthened by being forced to stand alone. The majority have been severely traumatised and often for life.

In my practice, Theta Healing has restored the victim’s confidence and sense of worth, and has enabled men and women to start to build their lives.

Most people do not have the opportunity to have this treatment, so let us be alert while it is happening and stop it before it takes hold.

Make sure that bullying is stopped, whether in the workplace, at home or at school – that it is nipped in the bud – that the bullies understand what they have done and that they are punished.

If you would like help in rebuilding your sense of worth and your confidence, you may find that Theta Healing will help:
Please call me on – 07979538 378 to find out more.
Go to my website www.18.135.123.1. I have given an explanation on Theta Healing and how it works.

I’m Not Good Enough

Posted by: Deborah Talalay Posted on: 15/09/2011 , , , ,

So many of us are plagued with this belief and the anxiety it causes.

‘I’m not as good or as clever or as capable as………………….’

‘People think I know what I’m doing and I’m only a small step ahead of them’

‘It’s just a fluke I got to where I am. It’s just luck.’

‘I can’t allow anyone to see just how anxious I am or they’ll understand that really I’m not up to the job.’

‘I can’t allow anyone near me or they’ll find out I’m a fraud.’

It’s surprising how many people who are at the top of their professions feel like this. You’d never guess – they keep it very well hidden.

If you were to ask someone else about that person they would probably tell you how great they are and what an inspiration they have been, and if you told that person they would be astonished.

Other people’s perception of us is often quite different to how we think we are. They might rate you for things you take for granted or as something that really isn’t important.  But to others it has been meaningful.

We are so busy being down on ourselves for what we think of as our faults and failures – that we just don’t get it that these things are not what we are valued for.  I have often told people how great they are at something only to have them shrug it off and dismiss it as unimportant compared to their faults.  They won’t receive it as the genuine compliment it was meant to be, and they don’t believe that what I am complimenting them about is worth complimenting.

Alternatively – there are many who are convinced they are a fraud and it’s only by a fluke that they’re in the position they’re in.  They won’t let anyone close in case they find out how anxious they are and how inferior they believe themselves to be. So no one can get near them and they come over as remote. Often they are so busy stopping anyone getting near that they can be aggressive.

In both cases they are their own worst enemies. The underlying belief is that if they criticise themselves first no one else will get the chance to do it. So they criticise themselves for all sorts of real and imagined faults. Of course – what you have yourself is what you notice in others. So others come in for lots of judgement too.

All of this comes from a lack of confidence in oneself and the anxiety that you are somehow wrong.  That your best efforts aren’t good enough and that you are going to be judged by others. So then that person thinks that they will feel a lot better if they are as near perfect as they can make themselves.  Anything less that perfection amounts to failure.  This is an impossible standard to live to and breeds even more anxiety. Then if the smallest thing goes wrong it’s a catastrophe.  Have you noticed how anxious some people get when things don’t go according to their very carefully laid plans?

With the anxiety that we’re not good enough – comes the conviction that we’ve done something wrong – and the most terrible feelings of guilt.

So much anxiety as a result of one negative belief.

And so many defence mechanisms to go with it – all of which breed more anxiety.

I have found in my Theta Healing practice how scarce genuine self confidence is.

A number of factors may have contributed to lack of confidence and poor self esteem, but these factors are rarely based on reality. However, whether it’s real or not, the belief is enough to overshadow a person’s life.

I have also seen this destructive belief changed very rapidly to a real knowledge and recognition for that person of their strengths, and a recognition and the ability to work through their weaknesses.

If you would like to learn more about Theta Healing and how it can help remove beliefs which don’t serve you:-

Call me on: 07979538378

Email me at: debbie.talalay@gmail.com

Or go to my website to find out how Theta Healing and Homeopathy could help you. www.18.135.123.1

I am always anxious

Posted by: Deborah Talalay Posted on: 01/09/2011 , , ,

“I am so stressed and there’s nothing I can do to slow down because so many people are dependent on me.”

Life has become so fast. We expect to do things and have things done for us instantly, if not yesterday.  Any delay sends us into a rage. If there is a wait behind a car which is a bit slow off the mark at a traffic light, the horns start blasting away. We have so much packed into each day, that unless everything goes perfectly – which it rarely does – we are unable to fulfil the commitments we have made. We arrive late and flustered – and we have no reserves to deal with the many little unexpected happenings that each day brings.

We’re proud of being able to multitask, and we end up by giving only a tiny part of our attention to whatever we’re doing. A parent pushing a stroller with a young child in it and with a phone clamped to her ear is a familiar sight. The child is ignored or pacified with a dummy or food if it wants attention.

We end up doing a lot – but we lose the ability to be, to communicate and relate to each other.

This is having life by the throat – so there is no room to breathe or to relax. Do it for long enough and everything becomes a burden – something to be done or to get through and it breeds irritability and ANXIETY.

Anxiety that;-

  • I won’t be able to achieve all I’ve set out to do.
  • That I’ll let people down and that they will be angry or annoyed with me.
  • That people will think less of me
  • That I will let myself down
  • That I’ll deprive my children and family in some way.
  • That I am not as competent as my friends and acquaintances.

Women are usually the ones running around trying to do what is needed for the family and holding down a job at the same time. The media have promoted the idea of the modern super woman who can grow her own vegetables, bottle and preserve them, make cakes and jam and all before setting out for her day in the executive boardroom.

Even if we like living like that – we can only keep it up for so long before the cracks begin to appear.

The price we pay is in our relationships – both with ourselves and with others.

We have completely failed to nourish ourselves and all we have is a sense of achievement for having done so much.

Nourishing ourselves can happen in different ways and they are all important.

We can start by giving ourselves the time to be with ourselves and with our thoughts. We need the time for the mind to be free of duty and responsibility so that it can float free and come up with ideas or so it can resolve a problem which has been lurking in the background.  We are not machines even if we treat ourselves like one.  We need the time to renew our energy and to clear ourselves from our recent experiences. If we don’t do this we create a backlog for the subconscious mind to deal with when we have the time. So it keeps prompting us to remember this thing and that problem which we have stored until we can sort them out. These constant reminders become anxiety.

Human beings all need to connect. Connection is what gives our lives meaning. What passes for connection is often at the surface as we don’t have the time for the connection to develop and for the energy of that connection to flow. We need to give ourselves the time and space to listen to ourselves and connect with our unconscious mind and to let that take us where it will. What we actually do is to stop any communication with ourselves by living in a constant whirlwind of activity and with a constant background of noise.

We have become estranged from ourselves and disconnected from others.

Anxiety is our warning signal that we are not getting it right and that we need to re-evaluate what we want from our lives and how to go about it. Our anxiety is, in general, not about the circumstances of our lives.  Even when these are difficult – if we feel centred and balanced we can deal with difficult circumstances and take them in our stride.

My belief is that our anxiety is because we won’t take the time to be with ourselves and with others and because we are denying ourselves the fundamental nutrition of connection.

If you would like help in reconnecting with yourself and with others, you may find that Theta Healing will help:

Please call me on – 07979538 378 to find out more.

Go to my website www.18.135.123.1. I have given an explanation on Theta Healing and how it works.

Losing Weight

Posted by: Deborah Talalay Posted on: 15/08/2011 , , , ,

What we lose is what we must try to find again

Saying we are losing weight is really sending the wrong message to the brain. Because what we lose is what we must make every effort to find again. Perhaps that’s why so many of us are on the roller coaster of weight loss followed by instant and rapid weight gain.

Slimming becomes much more difficult as you get older. The metabolism slows down, and all the treats, snacks and alcohol just go straight to the waistline and the hips. If you’ve ever played Monopoly

– do not pass go

– do not collect your £200

Just go straight to the hips!

One of the problems of ageing is that the digestive system has taken a battering over the years. The liver may not be functioning properly and you may have low level diabetes, both of which will make it harder to shed weight. If the body has developed intolerance to certain foods, it won’t know how to deal with this and will just store these foods as fat.

Then there’s the Thyroid gland which is often out of balance or which under reacts the older we get. The Thyroid is responsible for a great many of the functions of our bodies, including the regulation of weight. If the Thyroid is sluggish shedding weight becomes very difficult.

Then there’s the mindset which needs to be tackled before even beginning on any sort of diet.

This includes

  • the compulsion to reward ourselves with food
  • the knowledge that an emotional pain can be temporarily eased by eating sweets, pastries, chocolate.
  • and, of course, the knowledge that drinking alcohol will not only ease the pain – but will make us temporarily forget.

There are also the beliefs of scarcity – that there is not enough and that you have to eat while food is available. When I was growing up, we were all told that we must not waste food and must finish off everything on our plates because of the poor starving children in Biafra or in China. Of course, if we didn’t finish our food the poor starving children would not have benefitted, and what we did was to teach ourselves to overeat.  This way of thinking was drummed into us after WW11 because food had been rationed and many foods were not available. So there was a much greater respect for food and the whole process of growing it and making it available to everyone. As someone who grew up with that – I think it is all wrong the way we waste food, especially as in many parts of the world there is not enough to eat.

My rethink on this is: – rather than finish off a large portion of food instead of wasting it, learn to take smaller portions and take more if still hungry. It’s surprising how much less is needed to satisfy the appetite.

There are so many diets available and they won’t all suit you. So when deciding which one to do – pick one with foods you like and which you think you can keep to. If you hate every minute and think of it as torture and deprivation, you will soon break the diet and probably go on a binge to make up for the disappointment.

But it is pointless to start on any diet if you haven’t prepared.

  • Exercise regularly to increase your metabolic rate and to burn off the excess fat. Once a week is not enough!
  • Cut out the foods you are sensitive or intolerant to. They can often block the process of shedding weight.
  • If you think your body doesn’t react well enough – get your liver, thyroid and sugar levels checked.
  • Take a look at some of your beliefs around eating. If your beliefs are making you put the weight right back on, consider seeing a Theta Healer who will help you to remove them and to install beliefs which will serve you better

If you would like to learn more about Theta Healing and how it can help remove beliefs which don’t serve you:-

Call me on: 07979538378

Email me at: debbie.talalay@gmail.com

Or go to my website to find out how Theta Healing and Homeopathy could help you. www.18.135.123.1

I Hate How I Look

Posted by: Deborah Talalay Posted on: 01/08/2011 , , , ,

Dysmorphia – a mental disorder characterized by distorted body image and obsessions about perceived physical shortcomings

“I feel so gross – I can’t stand how I look” said a very pretty woman.

She was carrying a lot of weight around her hips and backside – but was still very attractive.

But she didn’t see it like that.  Her prettiness meant nothing to her. She couldn’t believe it that men found her attractive. She thought they just pitied her!

Any attempt to get her to take a fresh look at herself was met with scorn and was rejected.

“In some cultures men prefer women with a big bottom” said I.

But no – I was just trying to make her feel better – and this is how it is, and her only option was to hide her bottom and herself.

What a waste! So much energy and emotion devoted to hating herself.

It would be easy to lose patience, to class her as self obsessed and let her get on with it. But that would be to dismiss the great many people who are so deeply ashamed of some part of their body or the shape of their body, that they come to reject themselves. It is a real and widespread problem and has ruined many lives, not only of the sufferers but also of their families and friends.

The body part they hate becomes the reason for all the things that don’t happen and have gone wrong in their lives. Usually – it’s held responsible for lack of confidence and lack of confidence is held responsible for most of life’s ills – failing to have a partner, never getting promoted at work,

It is useless to try to cajole or tease a person out of it. Unless that person changes how they perceive their body – nothing you say will make any difference at all. They don’t see their body as you see it. To them – their reality is like standing in front of a distorting fairground mirror. That is how they look to themselves. They’re surprised you can’t see it as they do and think that maybe you can but are too polite to tell them how they really look.

If the problem is because a woman – and it’s usually a woman – thinks she’s overweight, it can become so severe that it results in an eating disorder – bulimia (induced vomiting) maybe followed by anorexia.  I have known anorexics who were quite convinced they were grossly overweight even though they were so thin their bones stood out under the skin.

How do people get like this?

It doesn’t help that the fashion industry seems to be mainly aimed at dressing stick insects. The ultra thin shape has become the desired shape for us ordinary mortals – and unless we restrict our diets to two lettuce leaves and 40 cigarettes a day – we are bound to fail.

It doesn’t matter to the fashion industry that to be that thin you have probably deprived your body of the nutrients needed to function as a woman, that you feel faint most of the time, that you have stopped menstruating and that you are unable to conceive. Though of course if you were to conceive – it would mean putting on weight and becoming larger – so maybe that’s not a problem after all.

So we try to look like these fashion models, and when we can’t we feel like failures and start to hate ourselves for not being able to achieve the desired goal. Next thing you know you’re binge eating then vomiting.

The problem may not be weight but your dislike of a body part – such as a large nose. If you have been passed over or rejected it is easy to feel unwanted and to blame this on your big nose and the embarrassment it causes you, plus your loss of self worth because you feel so unusual and so ugly.

In reality – the ugliest people are often really successful because they have decided that they must make themselves really good at something so that their ugliness doesn’t matter. Often they are the most charming and the most fun to be with.

We have been given so many gifts and attributes which we ignore because we don’t have the thing we want. It’s like a child stamping her foot and saying if she can’t have an ice cream then she doesn’t want her dinner.

Many people decide that surgery is their only answer. And yes – surgery can help to restore your confidence – because you now look like everyone else.

But this isn’t the deep down confidence of a person being happy in their own skin.

This kind of confidence only comes by accepting who you are.

It is much easier than one would think to learn how to accept and be happy with oneself. Theta Healing can achieve this easily and effectively.

If you are considering surgery – please make sure that you also learn how to feel happy in yourself so that your transformation can be more than just skin deep.

If you would like to learn more about Theta Healing and how it can help you feel good about yourself:-

Call me on: 07979538378

Email me at: debbie.talalay@gmail.com

Or go to my website to find out how Theta Healing and Homeopathy could help you. www.18.135.123.1